


Nudity Required

by HatsForBreakfast



Series: Midgardian Holidays [3]
Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: April Fool's Day, Established Relationship, Everyone really should've seen this coming, Incest, Loki is a goddamn tease, M/M, Thor is not amused, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 18:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1398565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatsForBreakfast/pseuds/HatsForBreakfast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki manages some of his finest work yet, and he gets Thor to appreciate it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nudity Required

Loki had been waiting for April Fools’ Day since its occurrence last year, already thinking of ways to outdo himself again. Thor had caught the glimmer in Loki’s eye and firmly insisted that the best part of April wasn’t the tricks that Loki managed to cook up, but Easter with all its little eggs and hunting them down. The chaos that Loki had caused from April Fools’ Day last year had taken such a toll on the Avengers Tower that Tony had moved his famed Easter egg hunt to the mall to avoid adding to the damage being repaired at the time. It was an experience, for the shoppers at least, watching the Avengers wander around with pastel baskets and collecting brightly coloured patterned eggs. 

But Loki carefully counted down the days left on the calendar and he had planned it over a week earlier, to avoid having anyone suspect that he was setting up for any sort of trickery. He had gone to the Avengers Tower early one morning while Thor was still resting the night’s rigorous activities. Tony was hesitant to let him in, but Loki prompted him with the fact that he had long since been reformed. Tony expressed that while that was fine, Loki had a tendency to explode his smaller appliances by sticking metal things in them. Tony’s toaster was only the latest casualty. 

It was Natasha who was curious enough to entertain Loki this time, and she let Tony go make a cup of coffee for Steve and himself before inviting Loki to sit with her and Clint at the breakfast table. 

Clint spared him a small glance as he sat down before continuing to eat his omelette. 

“What brings you here this morning, Loki?” Natasha asked, watching him over the rim of her cappuccino. 

“Thor’s birthday,” he said, not needing to dither around. “It’s just a week away.” 

“Huh.” Tony said from the kitchen. “Didn’t know you guys celebrated that. How old is Thor, anyway?” 

“He’s turning eleven hundred and it’s quite a big deal on Asgard.” 

Loki ignored the collective looks of surprise from the Avengers around him. Natasha was perhaps the only one who simply looked bored. Tony joined them at the table with a pot of coffee and Steve followed. 

“What were you thinking of doing?” Steve asked as he poured himself a mug. 

Loki paused a moment, glancing up at the blonde. “Traditionally, a prince’s birthday is celebrated with feats of strength from the finest warriors.” 

Tony’s face contorted briefly. “Feats of strength? This sounds like a strong man competition.” 

“Or the Olympics,” Clint added. 

Loki kept his attention on Natasha. She was the one he would have to convince for this to work. The rest of them would likely not be involved in much planning. 

“I understand the trouble it would be worth, but Thor’s been homesick lately and I would like to do something for him.” 

“Why doesn’t he just head home for his birthday?” Bruce asked, wandering in for breakfast and scratching the back of his head. 

Loki’s mouth twitched at the sight of him. The Hulk didn’t exactly bring fond memories. 

“I cannot return to Asgard,” Loki reminded. “And Thor does not wish to leave without me.” 

“Okay, so this celebration,” Natasha said. “What kind of warriors do you need? Do they have to be Asgardian?” 

Loki took a quick inventory of their expressions before breathing in and exhaling. 

“They have to be nude.” 

***

He had confirmed with Natasha earlier, while Thor was in the washroom getting ready for the surprise that Loki had insisted on. Loki had told him Thor was to make up to him because of his behaviour on St. Patrick’s Day. Loki suspected that Natasha knew, in fact, he was almost sure that she did, but that she chose to go along with it for her own purposes. Loki was curious about her reasons for doing so. 

As Loki checked his tie in the mirror, smoothing down the material against his chest, he wondered why none of them had questioned how Thor’s birthday had never been brought up before, and why it happened to fall on April Fools’ Day this year. They weren’t an extraordinarily bright bunch, the Avengers; Loki must’ve been having a bad day in New York those years ago. He looked over to the washroom where Thor had spent most of the morning, claiming to need to be perfect for Loki’s surprise. It almost made him feel guilty about wanting to see Thor’s reaction to the naked men waiting for him in the Avengers Tower. 

Loki rapped on the washroom door with the back of his knuckles. “Thor, you’ve been in there an awfully long time. I do hope you realize that there’s a limit to what you can achieve.” 

Thor stepped out and Loki took a long breath in, like he’d just realized what essential function his lungs provided. 

“How is it, brother? I do not think I move as naturally as you do in a suit.” 

Loki averted his eyes. The sight of Thor in a deliciously tailored suit, hugging and highlighting every little curve of toned muscle had been too much all at once. Loki moved back to the mirror to adjust the lapels of his suit and slowly level out his breathing to get a handle on the situation again. Thor appeared behind Loki; his mouth pulled down subtly as he placed his hands over Loki’s hips and peered at himself in the mirror. 

“Do you not like it, Loki?” 

Loki brushed Thor’s hands from his hips and turned around to face his brother. He scanned Thor’s attire as quickly as he could, definitely not lingering in any spots, and looked back up into Thor’s unsure face. 

Loki adjusted Thor’s tie with a deft tug of his fingers and Thor caught his hand in his grip, pinning Loki’s gaze to one spot. They stared, Thor waiting for an answer and Loki unwilling to give one. 

“You look fine, Thor,” he conceded at length. “If you’d let go, we can get going before we run even later than we already are.” 

Thor’s face broke out in a grin that made Loki’s retinas burn. He kissed Loki’s cheek and gripped his shoulders firmly before making his own assessment of Loki. 

“And you look wonderful, Loki. I am looking forward to this surprise.” 

Loki turned and opened the door. “Yes, Thor. It should be quite… revealing of my honest humility for St. Patrick’s Day.” 

***

Tony was the one to open the door when Loki and Thor arrived. His mouth was pulled down and shook his head slightly at Thor. 

“You’re really, really lucky that I consider you a friend. This shit does not fly with me.” 

Thor’s brows creased and he moved to ask Loki just what was going on, needing to disconfirm the growing pit in his stomach but Tony stepped aside and Thor was sidelined by the sight. 

At least twenty, possibly thirty, naked men in the Avengers Tower. Lounging, exercising, eating finger foods that Steve had put out and as Thor kept looking, jaw perilously close to dropping open, he noticed that they were all very delectable specimens of the human race. 

“Loki,” Thor warned in a low growl as he stepped inside. “What did you do?” 

Loki moved slowly around Thor, eyes on him as he grinned and then turned to the rest of the Avengers. He would have to thank Natasha later for what was probably a hand-selected collection of the handsomest men she could find. 

Loki’s lips quirked up in a grin as he caught one of the “warriors” massaging another on Tony’s couch. 

“April Fools’!” he shouted, arms extended and fingers splayed. 

He took Thor’s rough snarl behind him as his cue and promptly projected a double of himself over to the kitchen to watch the chaos unfold. Thor chased the illusion down as Loki watched invisibly from a corner. He took inventory. 

Steve couldn’t make eye contact at any of the men, and he scurried between them to collect the empty plates. Tony was pouring himself some scotch in a glass and deciding on whether or not he felt like ice cubes. Bruce was rubbing the bridge of his nose and appeared to be debating whether or not he had made a wise decision to attend this gathering. The men themselves didn’t seem to notice that there was anything wrong with the situation and continued as they were. 

Clint turned on Natasha. “You knew,” he said. 

She shrugged and looked over to where Thor was still trying to pin Loki down. 

“But you went with it anyway,” Clint realized. 

“Like I’m going to pass up an opportunity to appreciate naked men. Models, no less.” 

Loki grinned as he heard that. He had specified that he needed warriors for Thor’s birthday and that they were traditionally naked. Natasha had put her own stamp of approval on his plan and went ahead with it. He nodded in appreciation as he looked at each of the men individually. They were truly gorgeous creatures, capable of rivalling even Asgard’s finest. Loki’s teeth pressed gently at his lip as he caught the two on Tony’s couch, now having moved past the massage and grinding on each other as subtly as they could in a public space. 

He looked back at Thor, who was still livid, if the colour in his cheeks and gritted teeth were anything to go by. He also still looked ravishing in his suit. His tie had been pulled slack, his jacket no longer buttoned and he was rumpling the fabric by jumping around so much. Loki thought Thor looked almost debauched in a state like that. The idea made his chest hum with excitement and Loki forgot about his double running around for just a moment, but it was a moment long enough for Thor to realize and grab Loki by the collar in his corner seconds later. 

“You made my friends participate in your mayhem, Loki!” 

“Mmh, Thor. Do you know that you’ve exerted yourself enough to look like you’ve started foreplay without me?” 

Thor’s eyes went deliriously wide and he forced a hand over Loki’s mouth before glancing around at each of the Avengers. 

“I am very sorry for all that you have endured today, my friends. Loki should not have brought you into this and I swear I shall fix it.” 

Loki’s tongue slid across Thor’s palm and Thor jerked his hand back. 

“Do you think maybe you can fix this after a quick round? You’ve gotten your blood pumping and I think I like you angry.” Loki smoothed his fingertips over Thor’s tie, gazing into Thor’s eyes, his pupils opening as he drank Thor in. 

Thor groaned softly in the back of his throat, knowing he was doomed from the look in Loki’s eyes. He turned back around to the Avengers, most of them had grown bored with Thor and Loki, and had taken to moving around the naked models as if they were lethargic furniture. 

“Friends, I will be back to clean up Loki’s mess. Right now he is in dire need of chastisement.” 

Loki’s grin was small, an amused little twitch of his lips. “I see you’re very capable of spinning words when your ass is on the line, Thor. Well, my ass, actually, if your scrunched expression is worth anythi—” 

“Shut up, Loki.” 

Loki made a motion of sliding a zipper across his lips as Thor punched the button for the elevator. They went up a few levels and Loki tugged on Thor’s hand, leading him to the nearest room with a bed. Thor was pushed backward onto the mattress and Loki set upon him immediately, yanking off the already rumpled tie and shoving the crinkled suit down Thor’s broad shoulders. Before Thor had a chance stop and look around, Loki had settled over his thighs and had his mouth moving openly over Thor’s throat. Thor fisted a hand in Loki’s hair and dragged him up to his lips with rough urgency. 

***

Loki refused to magick back Thor’s appearance into something less disheveled-looking, stating that Thor had left looking like sex and was bound to return looking like he’d been thoroughly laid. Thor complained about his fraying tie and insisted that Loki make him look slightly more presentable as he tried to smooth out the wrinkles in his jacket. Loki just shook his head, not a hair out of place, as they rejoined the Avengers and the models, who were wilting from the lack of entertainment. 

Tony caught their arrival first and poked Loki in the chest. “You’d better fix this. There are going to be permanent buttprints on my couch forever now.” 

Loki snapped his fingers together and the models disappeared. “There. Happy?” 

“Yes.” Tony made a hasty exit; taking the elevator up to make sure Loki hadn’t destroyed anything. 

At Natasha’s suspicious frown, Loki elaborated, “They’re all back home. No memory of today, and yes, they were still paid.” 

Natasha raised an eyebrow. 

“You enjoyed this prank more than I did, so don’t even start with me.” 

Clint’s arms were folded over his chest. “I think you owe Steve an apology. He’s still traumatized from all that nudity.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. Thor pinched his arm and Loki managed a mumbled, “sorry.” It lacked all conviction and Thor elbowed him this time. 

“My friends, I am truly sorry for Loki’s actions. I will do better next year to restrain him and I deeply regret that you had to be involved.” 

Thor nodded to his friends, hoping they would accept his apology. He grabbed Loki’s upper arm and dragged him toward the door. The elevator dinged and Tony stomped out. Loki and Thor were already outside by the time Tony stepped out. 

“That little shit! He actually has the balls to _come_ to my place and _come_ on my sheets?!” 

Loki laughed. Thor sighed, he contemplated going back to apologize for Loki’s latest transgression but decided that he had had enough of that for today. Dealing with an angry Stark was not high on his list. Besides, the bite marks on Loki’s neck were just starting to become visible and Thor looked forward to creating more. 

Loki grinned and looked at Thor. 

“Excellent April Fools’ Day this year, yes?”

**Author's Note:**

> Next up: Easter!


End file.
